In years past I’ve felt that even if no one sees the decorations they still give me pleasure.
But this year… No pleasure… Just annoyance at myself for continuing a ritual.
But I have to do it, if I don’t then I have to admit to myself that things are different. That things are not as they should be. That I’m sinking down into the dark pit of despair. I’m trying to fight it. But the more I fight the worse it gets. Maybe I should just lay down and give up.
But the lights look so very nice. Zoey likes to pull down the garland from around the doors. Mamasita is our good kitty, she doesn’t take down the decorations (except Christmas ornament balls). She does like to take her toys out and leave them all over the house.