I feel black.
I want to wear black nail polish but I work with small children. So I compromise and wear dark purple and dark blue nail polish instead on alternating weeks.
I’ve dug out all my old black shirts and black pants. But I try and pair them with something a bit more colorful, which ends up being something dark purple or grey.
I feel dark.
So dark that I bring home from the library “Beloved” and “The Tent”.
So dark that tonight I went to Safeway and purchased a package of black hair dye. Came home and dyed my hair black.
What will be the reaction of the children tomorrow?
Will being black on the outside make me less dark feeling on the inside? Probably not, but it is worth a try.
Though things are starting to look up in this world. I made a new friend. I know this sounds strange coming from a 33 year old woman, but making new friends at this age when you are stressed out all the time about your job is difficult.
So come what may things will be better from now on.
Black hair and all.