Posted in Baby Redmond, bébé, Zelda

Dream Feeding

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When I was pregnant I had a recurring dream.  

In this dream I had given birth to my baby and proceeded to forget to feed her for a week.  The dream occurs when I realize she needs to be fed and the resulting panic.

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Now that bébé is here and she eats all the time this dream no longer terrorizes me.

I woke up last night from a dream where I was feeding bébé Chex cereal in water.  Seeing as bébé is only 2 months old she is neither allowed water or solid food.  Again I was full of anxiety about what would happen to her.  So much so that I could not sleep the rest of the night.  I worried about her all night long.  Then exhausted in the morning we took a 3 hour nap.

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I wonder what the significance is that I worry about being able to nourish my child.  I have no reason to worry about this, but I still worry all the time.  Is she eating enough?  Is she eating too much?  Why wont she take a bottle?  Should I be pumping more to build up a stash?

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I just need to trust.  Trust she is getting just the right amount of food that she needs.  I mean she has rolls upon rolls, no need to think she isn’t getting enough food or the right food.  It’s just hard when you cannot see how much milk she is getting.  And I know if I bought a baby scale I would obsess over her weight constantly.  So, here I am trying to trust and deal with these scary dreams.

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